2 minute read

The Apprentice Episode 7 – It’s just not punny anymore

Last week, I felt a bit down in the dumps after watching the Apprentice (get it?) because of the lack of quality in the candidates – and this week wasn’t much better. Even sparkly Irish Jim is losing his appeal.

This week, their task was to launch a “freemium” magazine and bring in advertising revenue. Jim was moved to Venture and made team leader, while, in an ironic twist, “let’s call our competitors and ask them for their supplier’s list” Natasha was made team leader of Logic.

At the publisher’s, Jim starts flirting with Zoe. I boil with jealous rage for a few seconds before deciding I love him again.
Over at Team Logic, Natasha decides to go for “lads’ mags” as her target market. I score off “I’m gonna make a decision” on my leadership bullshit bingo card. “Lads’ magazines are about lads… yeah?” That’s right Natasha. That’s why she’s in Team Logic!

Meanwhile, at Team Venture, Jim decides that targeting the over-60s market will give them a chance to be classy rather than cheap. Clearly he’s never been down Mecca Bingo on a Saturday night. Out of nowhere, we cut to a VT of Jim giving a Braveheart-style speech about taking hearts and minds. I’m momentarily distracted.

At camp Team Logic, the rest of the team are trying to convince Natasha to up the tone of her lads’ mag. Natasha, however, wants to include porn, because porn sells. Anything else is boring apparently.

Team Venture set about organising a focus group to patronise the elderly. Susan admitted her first question would be “so, like, what do you guys do?” As it turns out, the over 60s aren’t a bunch of old fogeys sitting around waiting to die, they’re just… you know… fairly normal people over the age of 60. Who woulda thunk it? Better come up with a subtle yet appealing name, right guys? Or you could just call it “Hip Replacement”. Get it? Out with the old and in with the new… they’re replacing hip culture… with their magazine. They might as well have called it “YOU’RE REALLY OLD Magazine”.

Team Logic decide their magazine needs to be classy and upmarket. They then proceed to run a feature called “How do you blow your load?” It’s about money apparently. Another witty, witty pun.

Cutting to the chase, Jim’s clever name loses out in the end. As it turns out, porn does sell after all.
At the end of the day, smooth-talking Jim gets another chance, and Glen the engineer is sent packing… for being an engineer.

Tune in next week for more chuckles and, no doubt, a whole host of new puns!

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